I wanted to write this testimony down and also share on here. I feel like I have a few healing testimonies that I’ve promised to write… I’ll get to those as well.

I was thinking about the season in my life I’m in right now and how amazing God has been in every moment. Even in those moments when I don’t take my thoughts captive, and say things I shouldn’t. I want to stay positive and I want to stand strong in who I am and who I aim to be-that is a queen, a child of God. To me, that means to be completely taken care of by the Father. I take care of my boys and want the best for them, and do everything possible to make sure they are clothed and fed and more. I want the best for them. So, Father God wants the best for my life. And the enemy knows that and throws hard stones at me. Man oh man, those hurt. And when I do allow those thoughts to go wild, then I get the beating. Mentally and physically through sickness and worry. Gotta take those thoughts captive gang…

Anyways, lets get to the testimony.

(Quick thank you note) As some of you know and have stepped out to be obedient to the Lord in providing financially for my boys and I - I want to thank you and want to thank the Lord for using those people for His Glory. You are blessed and your households are blessed. On that note I want to tell you about the day that launched my “faith living” attitude and shifted something in me. Shifted a “poor man” mentality off me. And truly allowing the Lord to lord my life, as He holds my hand and allows me to just trust Him. Wow, you guys it’s good.

A few weeks ago I was desperate. I had worried and stressed and freaked myself out to a complete mess of illness and breakdown. I was doing everything I could, and thought that based on those works God would move. That’s not grace at all. And that mentality; God moves by my works, is completely twisted. But, that’s where I was. I was feeling such an attack on my mind, that I could not make out what the right things to do were! I really was feeling defeated and hopeless. SO, I went to a church that’s 1.5 hours away just to be around people that will speak life into me and where I felt safe. It was an evening service and I had taken the boys to the beach before service started. On the beach I just talked to Jesus. Told him that as soon as I get to that church my gas tank will be on empty and I will let him figure out how we will get home. I also told Him that the last $3 in my wallet was to buy food for the lizard! Cause- I didn’t want her to starve. lol

We got to the church and it was wonderful. It was a tiny group of the most amazing people. At the end they asked me if they could pray for me. I said “yes” and went up. I told them briefly what was going on in my life and that I want them to agree with me in prayer for my art career, so that I can provide for the boys. Also, we covered my husband in prayer. it was one of the most powerful prayers for him I’ve ever heard a stranger pray. All the sudden I just got a whiff of hope into my heart. And I just sobbed. The ladies that prayed for me dispersed and I was asked to write down my contact info. As I was writing the ladies came back and gave me some cash, telling me that they wanted to bless me. I usually would never except help, but at that moment I was so filled with thanksgiving that I could not contain my joy. Then, one of them said, “my husband just heard the Lord tell him we need to fill up your gas tank”. At that moment I just fell to my knees. My Jesus just loves me so much that he will take a stranger and use them and provide!

I wanted to encourage whoever is reading: our Father in heaven is a Provider. He loves to use other people and just work through them. He wants to lavish us with love and encouragement and finances. He designed us to thrive. To have life and life abundant. Jesus came to do that for us. For you. He came and crushed the “poor man” mentality with the cross. You guys, He crushed that thing. So, we are now his family. His sons and daughters. What’s a gas fill up to Him? He has it all in His hands and wants so desperately to share that with us! I’m excited. That just makes me excited for my future. Yes, it’s been rocky. BUT, those rocks have always been smoothed out and made absolutely beautiful.

I love you Jesus!